Beth Carlson-Malena - celebrant

“We were meant to drop below the surface of things and to experience the depths of life in the same ways that our deep-time ancestors did. Their lives were filled with story, ritual, and circles of sharing. Their lives were not shamefully hidden away but known—losses, defeats, grief, pains, joys, births, deaths, dreams, sorrows; the communal draw of life was open and acknowledged. This is what the soul expected, what it is we need today. ”
— "The Wild Edge of Sorrow" by Francis Keller

I’d love to create a ceremony with you…

I’m convinced we could all use more ceremonies and rituals in our lives. When we join with loved ones to intentionally mark moments of joy, grief, and change, we give these moments their appropriate weight & significance.

Ceremonies and rituals can help us move through difficult seasons. They can help to solidify our memories of beautiful moments. They can help us make meaning out of complex swirls of thought and emotion. They can show us the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Is there something happening in your life, or in the life of your family or community, that feels like a milestone? Do you want to figure out a way to give it the attention it deserves? Maybe it’s an excuse to gather and make a memory together. Maybe it’s a good way to seek some closure. Whatever it is, I’d love to help craft a ceremony that flexes to fit your particular story and needs.

custom ceremonies I’ve DONE

  • Weddings (I’ve written & officiated 300+ weddings over the last decade)

  • Celebrations of Life & Memorials

  • House Blessings

  • Baby Dedications & Child Blessings

  • Blessings for New Names/Pronouns

  • Ceremonies for the End of a Marriage

  • Rituals of Release & Healing

Are you looking for something that’s not on the list above? If so, I’d be thrilled to innovate with you and try something new, drawing on our combined resources & ideas.

My style

  • Listening for what matters. I prioritize taking time to listen to your story so I can weave it into the larger narrative of the ceremony. I will come curious about what matters to you, and we can consider together how our ceremony can honour the complexity of who you are (or, in the case of a Celebration of Life, who your loved one has been), whether it’s weaving in family/cultural traditions, quoting from a favourite song or film, or finding a role for one of your family members to play during the ceremony.

  • Thinking outside the box. The last thing I want is to plug your name into a pre-written template. I will come to our meeting with ideas from past ceremonies, so we don’t have to start from scratch, but I’d love to hear your ideas, and for us to brainstorm together as much as possible. I love trying new things, whether it’s putting a new spin on a time-honoured tradition, creating a new ritual with elements unique to your venue, or adding a moment of humour. I see this as our collaborative effort to make meaning of this event in your life, which will never look exactly like it does in someone else’s life.

  • Prioritizing safety & belonging. It can feel vulnerable and risky to gather together in ceremony, especially when emotions are raw, and when we’re awkward in trying new things. As I consider how to introduce and frame your ceremony, I focus on building a safe container so people can risk as much vulnerability as is healthy for them. As a queer person, I know what it feels like to be excluded from ceremonies, so I try to choose language, themes, and shared practices that explicitly include all kinds of people, creating belonging for each individual who has made the choice to be there, so that they know their presence matters.

  • Giving you peace of mind. We’ll keep making adjustments to the ceremony until you’re fully comfortable with our plans. I’m also very capable of rolling with unexpected last minute changes and surprises. I am trustworthy and reliable as a ceremony host and facilitator, and my goal is to free you up to simply show up and experience it, along with the other people you’ve invited to participate, instead of having to fret about the details.

Note: Even though I work as a pastor in a Christian church, the vast majority of ceremonies I’ve created have not been Christian ceremonies, and have not taken place in churches. I focus on amplifying the values and beliefs that are meaningful to the person at the center of the ceremony, whether or not they have a particular faith background. Still, if you would like to incorporate Christian themes or rituals, I am more than willing to do so.

testimonials

“It is a funny thing to have a stranger play a central part in what is a very personal, often private, vulnerable moment of your life. Beth felt like a friend from the start. She is a person that we would consider a true privilege to know. Thank you Beth, for your thoughtful, kind and engaging self.”
— S&T
“When first meeting Beth, I just knew she was the best fit for us and I sensed right away she was going to make the experience preparing our ceremony smooth and enjoyable. Beth was so flexible and opened our eyes to the many possibilities we could have for our ceremony.”
— A&S
“There are not enough words to express the gratitude we have for Beth and the ceremony she put together for us. She was able to take all my crazy, jumbled thoughts and put them into a beautiful ceremony that was not only above our expectations, but was nothing short of perfection. I had so many compliments on the ceremony: the language she choose for us, the manner in which she interacted with our guests, and the unique and special way she incorporated our children into the ceremony.”
— K&A

Next Steps

Please reach out to me at bethmalena[at]gmail.com if you’re interested in exploring working together on a ceremony. We can have a short chat, free of charge, and discuss whether I’m a good fit, and consider your time frame and budget.