Unlike my wife, who loves to make a good Top 20 list, I feel too much pressure trying to rank and rate all of the things. Instead, I give you, in no particular order, a few of the things I enjoyed in 2022.
THIS Bird Feeder
When my Mom died in February, most people offered me hugs, flowers or food (all very appreciated!), but one friend of mine went off the beaten track and gave me gift card for Wild Birds Unlimited. Last month I finally got around to using it, and bought this $40 window-suction-cup birdfeeder and a huge $7 bag of birdseed. It only took the chickadees, finches, sparrows and juncos 24 hours to discover it, and the periodic joy of having them distract me from my work has been worth so much more than $47. Once or twice I’ve even witnessed Northern Flickers attempt to brace themselves against the window to eat, though the feeder is definitely not built to support a bird of their size. It’s never too late to get yourself a bird feeder.
Couples Therapy (TV SHOW)
I initially thought this show would be the usual trashy reality voyeurism, watching couples emotionally striptease for a pretentious therapist who would delight in dropping truth bombs on them. From the first few minutes of footage in Dr. Orna’s office, you realize the tone of the show, and of Dr. Orna herself, is quiet, gentle, respectful, almost meditative. I have a full-on crush on Dr. Orna, who can somehow offer generous, embodied attention toward people who are acting like douchebags, and who always asks different questions than I expect. Each season, the show follows three or four couples through multiple sessions with her, and there’s always at least one queer couple, which is fantastic. The show also peeks behind the curtain and shows Dr. Orna’s conversations with her supervisor, where she further humanizes herself by sharing her uncertainty about how to best help different couples. My wife Danice and I watch the episodes together and usually talk at length afterward about our own relationship: it’s like free therapy (well, therapy for the price of a Crave subscription!).
“DRAGON NEW WARM MOUNTAIN I BELIEVE IN YOU” by Big Thief (ALBUM)
If you want an idea of the fantastic music playing at my home this year, you can head over to my wife’s Top 20 albums blog, where she writes eloquently about some of my favourite albums. Instead of rehashing those, I thought I’d write about two albums that didn’t make her cut, the first being this album with its endearing title and cover art (I want to know which campfire circle animal corresponds with which band member!). My cousin Lily introduced me to Big Thief a few years ago. Just months before COVID hit, we were lucky to catch their live show, which only increased my respect for their collective skill and humble, gentle attitude. Lead singer Adrienne Lenker has my whole heart, as a singer, as a songwriter; she is on my “I Recommend” page for a reason. I love the poetic intentionality and folky fingerpicking vibe of her solo work, but there’s a different kind of light-hearted improvisational joy that seems to emerge for her when co-creating with her band of quirky friends; you can feel their delight in one another when watching their most recent Tiny Desk. There are 20(!) songs on this album, and my favourites are in the first half - “Change” for its simplicity and the way the theme shifts through the lyrics, “Certainty” for weaving together quantum uncertainty with questions of love, and “Sparrow” for a meditation on Adam & Eve that will get stuck in your head (“She has the poison inside her/she talks to snakes and they guide her”). Ugh and the titular song is also such a mood...
“A PSALM FOR THE WILD-BUILT” by Becky Chambers (BOOK)
I’m so grateful to Bailey, from my church, for introducing me to this refreshing oasis of a book. The prose was gorgeous from start to finish, the world-building was intriguing but accessible, the main character was queer and widely relatable, but it was the spirituality of “tea monks” that really drew me in. Unlike the space operas I usually read, this was a bite-sized science fiction story, a novella, almost a fable, but without any preachiness, about a monk and a robot who learn new things about themselves as they travel together. It helped me realize that a big epic universe-altering climax isn’t necessary for me to enjoy a work of science fiction. Now to read the sequel, along with everything else Becky Chambers has ever written (right now I’m in the middle of her book “A Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet” and also enjoying it).
EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (MOVIE)
This was one of only 4 movies Danice and I watched in theatres this year, and I’m so glad we experienced it on the big screen. I’ve never seen another movie like it, with so much zany “everything” mixed in (hot dog fingers, googly eyes, The Bagel, a raccoon chef, butt plugs, and taxes), yet pulling off beautiful character development and a strong central message. It’s a surprisingly fresh use of the multi-verse device, done with both quirky humour and tear-jerking sincerity. It’s an action movie that resolves in kindness and nonviolence. There were some amazing performances, including Stephanie Hsu playing a deliciously queer villain, and her protagonist mother Michelle Yeoh, who had better win the Best Actress Oscar (I say this despite the fact that she’ll be pitted against my personal fave, Cate Blanchett). Just recently, I found this YouTube essay on how you could read the film as a commentary on the overwhelm of living in the age of internet hyperconnectivity, and I felt even more grateful for the movie’s hopeful conclusion.
SUSIE PALADINO (OUR E-BIKE)
In April, Danice and I invested in a RadRunner Plus from Rad Power Bikes. Danice was only half-convinced, but once we visited their Vancouver location and took her out for a test ride, she was sold. In the 9 months we’ve had the bike, we’ve ridden her 900 km, including almost all my work travel to officiate local weddings (because the electric part means I don’t need to show up sweaty!). On top of the gas $$ savings, and the joy of making choices in line with our climate values by leaving the car at home, riding her has been unexpectedly wonderful for our mental health. It’s so refreshing to feel the wind in my face and to more fully appreciate what’s blooming and growing along Vancouver’s incredible bike trails, all while efficiently getting where I want to go. Many thanks to church friends Carie-Ann and Sarah & Jonathan for inspiring us to take the plunge on one of our largest ever purchases; we have zero regrets. (Can’t remember why we named the bike Susie Paladino… though I think the “Susie” part was in honour of Sue Bird.)
A League of Their Own (TV Show)
Our friends Becca & Mylo visited us this summer just in time for us to binge this entire show together. We began by re-watching the 1992 film, which I didn’t have much nostalgic love for, despite it being the source of my grade 2 softball team’s rather uncreative name, “The Peaches.” The TV show can do so much more with the historical source material than the movie could do, really examining the pros and cons of expanding freedom for women to fill new roles at home while the men were overseas in WW2, and the limits of that freedom for queer, Black and trans people. I already loved Abbi Jacobson from Broad City, and had crushes on both D’Arcy Carden from The Good Place, as well as Roberta Colindrez from Vida, and I loved being introduced to more wonderful actors (particularly Chante Adams and Gbemisola Ikumelo). No love of softball or sports required to enjoy this show, just be prepared for it to become more and more gloriously queer with every episode!
“NOT TIGHT” by DOMi & JD BECK (ALBUM)
This was another album that didn’t make Danice’s Top-20 cut (though I think this groovy 7/4 earworm of a track will be in her Top 20 songs). “Not Tight” created the perfect chill jazzy backdrop for me while I typed away on my laptop this year, and I’m so grateful my sister Rachel introduced me to these two musical prodigies (JD Beck is a 19-year-old drummer, and DOMi is a 22-year-old keyboardist). They met just four years ago and now they have a debut album featuring the likes of Herbie Hancock, Anderson .Paak, and Snoop Dogg. My brain is constantly puzzling over JD’s drumming - it’s so agile and dry and the beats always land where I’m not expecting, yet it’s also somehow minimalist. Despite their collective genius, they both possess an “I couldn’t take myself less seriously” brand of intentionally immature Gen Z irony, which makes the high-brow jazz feel a bit more accessible to the likes of me. Their live performances are even better than their album recordings, so start with their Tiny Desk here and hopefully you’ll fall down a YouTube rabbit hole of recordings of their shows.
“THIS HERE FLESH” by Cole Arthur Riley (BOOK)
If I write a book (and that is the hope! come on creative 2023!), my wildest dream is to have it compared to what Cole Arthur Riley achieves here: an exquisite lyrical blend of memoir, spiritual reflection, and poetic prose. You may already know Cole from her gorgeous work writing Black liturgies (to find them, follow @blackliturgies on Instagram). This Here Flesh, her first book, is as finely and carefully crafted as her liturgies, with broadly themed chapters (e.g. Dignity, Joy, Belonging, Anger) each containing beautifully specific metaphors and stories from her life and the lives of her ancestors. She does not shy away from writing about trauma, nor does she shy away from the healing. It’s the kind of book you want to read slowly, to savour the elegant words and wise insights, and then you’ll want to start it all over again. So much richness here… can’t wait for more from Cole Arthur Riley.
C’MON C’MON (MOVIE)
I have my sister Rachel to thank for this recommendation, too. This movie (available on Crave) reminded me of the week back in March when Danice and I took care of my other sister (Sarah)’s kids. We hold on to so many beautiful moments from that week, but we also felt constantly “in over our heads” as we were trying to take care of children while we and the kids were all processing fresh grief. Joaquim Phoenix’s character is in the same boat in this film, caring for his young nephew during a difficult time. This concept could easily become cheapened with sentimentality, but it’s saved by a good script and nuanced acting - the child actor who plays the nephew blew my socks off as one of the most believable children I’ve seen in a film, and one of his last delivered lines, referenced in the title, unexpectedly brought me to tears. Gaby Hoffman also shows off her talent here, playing Joaquim’s sister. And because Joaquim’s character is a podcaster/interviewer who focuses on children, the filmmaker chooses to pepper the film with interviews with different real-life children, which carried surprising depth. I still don’t know why this movie is shot in black & white, but it does give it a kind of timeless quality. I love movies that make you fall in love with the people and world around you, and this is definitely one of them.
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HONORABLE MENTIONS
ALBUMS - Beyonce’s Renaissance, Amber Mark’s Three Dimensions Deep, Anais Mitchell’s Anais Mitchell.
TV - Reservation Dogs, The Resort, Severance, The Vow
BOOKS - Gathering Moss (Robin Wall Kimmerer), The Wild Edge of Sorrow (Francis Weller), Pet & Bitter (Akweeke Emezi), Cloud Cuckoo Land (Anthony Doerr), Care Of (Ivan Coyote)
MOVIES - Nope, After Yang, Prey, Fire Island
OTHER - Miss Vickies’ Sea Salt & Malt Vinegar Chips, and Rockets candy. These are my emotional support snacks. I feel better about life when I have them on hand, and I almost always have them on hand.
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Oh, and in case you were wondering, this is my favourite person. She’s held the title for the past 16 years. Quite the streak.
